Wednesday, September 17, 2014

On the criminal front...


Look who got arrested just today in The City Beautiful:

#DumbCriminal

This is the jerk who broke into my house, stole all my jewelry, pawned it, and was $450 richer.  I've been waiting ever since for him to be taken back into custody.  Look at all those charges!  I'd like to call your attention to the classification as a "violent offender."  He's a real gem.

Most likely he's already bonded out, but I'm still going to check tomorrow to see if he actually was released. Law enforcement has a habit of letting this creep out of jail.

One thing is certain:  I'll be sending an email to the jail, police, and sheriff's office.  :)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Thieves

I had a clever post all typed out this a.m., and couldn't wait to finalize it and put it up here.

My good mood was ruined when I tried to use my debit card at Walgreens and discovered - AGAIN - that my debit card number was lifted.  This time, I bought someone a pair of $599 Gucci sunglasses, and helped them pick out $100 worth of weird foods at some weird food market.

Disclaimer:  The word "but" is coming presently.

I've said before........... hate is bad, BUT I'm over people who think it's okay to steal something from someone just b/c there's a hefty chance they won't ever get caught or ever repay the money they stole.  I hate it b/c these awful people don't care about the victim's life situation.  They have no idea what it's like to have to call your landlord and tell him not to cash your rent check.  What kind of effed up person would "assume" that their need for haughty sunglasses takes priority over over me housing my family?  Are you kidding meeeee??  I hate that they laugh about it b/c they know good & well they're long gone with pricey merchandise by the time their victims know anything about their money being stolen.

So, the shout-out for tonight is to whoever took my things:  please remember me when someone steals something from YOU at a time when you can least afford for it to be stolen.  That's only fair, yes?

I will put the clever post up tomorrow.  :)

Monday, September 8, 2014

Magnanimity Magazine

I've posted this on every social media site except Instagram!  I'm about to burst with excitement!  I'm pleased to say I have a new micro-fiction story that appears here:

http://www.magnanimitymag.com/Fiction.html 

The magazine is run by my journalist friend, Leslie Stone.  We go wayyy back, she and I.  ;)  I'm so thrilled that she's given me a chance to share my writing with a larger audience.  

Here's the link to the main page


http://www.magnanimitymag.com/Home.html

Look for more shameless plugs in future entries.

Super Harvest Moon night is turning out to be super.  The pictures of said moon, not at all. You are spared the agony of looking at moon pictures that look exactly like the last four batches I've taken.

The moon is high, bedtime is nigh.  xoxo

Friday, September 5, 2014

Non-medical alternative

"Often, we ignore the fact that our spiritual condition and psychological state of mind are highly affected by what is happening to us physically. Sometimes depression is simply the result of exhaustion."  Tony Campolo

I believe Mr. Campolo is onto something.  I know people who think too much sleep is a sign of depression.  What if it was the other way around, and sleep helped alleviate depression in some ways?  Ooooooo, an alternative that's drug free.

Getting a full-time job is a good thing, but I've been spoiled by only working part time in the last year. Now I have less time to devote to my life outside the office. I've not worked out the time adjustments because I've been telling myself that I can stay up late to finish everything and not miss the lost sleep. 

It's not true, though. I noticed myself having less patience and a shorter fuse since I started working longer hours. I get more pissy when I'm writing and I can't finish the section because I have to go to sleep or do housework or mow the lawn instead.  Or I feel guilty when I've worked late and don't get to feed the kids until after 7:00 pm!!!  I realized my emotions are more extreme because I'm tired. Just tired, inside and out. 

No way around it--the obvious solution is making a commitment to going to bed earlier and planning as much of the next day as I can so I can get up on time and get everything done.

When I stop hitting snooze.  ;)

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Caves

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” ― Joseph Campbell 

I'm not afraid of the dark, but I do have night lights (nite lites? lmao) strategically placed around the house so when I wake up, I can see a tiny bit of light somewhere. It helps me navigate when I can't always see everything.

I've never been in a "real" cave. The closest thing is a huge den that my granddaddy's hunting dogs dug underneath a part of their backyard that sloped upward. The clay was orange, dry, and dusty, and the canine cavern they made was deep and completely dark inside. Roots of all sizes had been gnawed through to make it accessible, even though a lot of them stuck out of the sides of the clay at random angles. I'd walk up to the edge of it and lean my head to see if they were really in there. Every now and again, I'd see their eyes shine for a second. Otherwise it was dark. I couldn't see them, but I knew they were there because when I called their names, I heard their tails thumping on the ground.  I would wait for them to stop wagging, and I'd say their names again--more tail thumping.  They always went along with it no matter how many times I did it.  

Right now I'm standing at the foot of the cave, peering in and wondering what treasure(s) are inside. The ones I'm hoping for and ones I haven't thought of or dreamed of yet. I don't have a night light, but it's time to find a flashlight, get my ass up in there, and bring out what I'm meant to find.  I'll leave my fear inside the cave, which will give me more room to carry out the good stuff. Sounds like a fair trade--

xoxo

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Commenting issues & random photo

A couple of readers have told me they are unable to leave comments on the blog.  I recently deleted the letter verification step because I don't need it. I set it so anyone can post, either with their name, blog name, email address, or anonymously.  Email me at scrapbookfran@aol.com if the problem persists.

Random photo section
One of the photos I took of myself with my 1st day on the new job suit looks like I'm holding a little ball of light.  It's from the flash, obviously, but it still looks like a little crystal ball.  



Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Minutiae Musings Vol. 5

Another installment of . . . musings about minutiae.

The car sticker that says "Salt Life" really looks like it says "Slut Life."  I think I might get one just because of it.

I saw some Halloween stuff for sale.  On Labor Day weekend, ya'll.  I wonder how many people go ahead and buy it as soon as it's put out so they don't have to buy gross candy at the last second, which should be on or before September 23, at which time they'll break out the Christmas items.  Maybe I'll do the same!

Which is worse:  unfollowed, unfriended, or un-Linked? I've been getting notifications from Twitter about new followers. I thought it was great until I noticed my number of followers is the same, and stays the same no matter how many new people they've mentioned. Odd!


P.S. I have a couple more clever things to post, but I am so tired.  Gotta get them up!

Monday, September 1, 2014

September 1

The haunting shadow of depression follows me like a predator 
Waiting patiently never in a hurry 
The right moment always comes.©


(Tweeted by Lotus on Twitter.  Follow her if you'd like to read more of her tweets:   )

Her mini-poem is the perfect description of how depression can exert so much influence on its victims.Throw in a little mania on a regular basis, and the result is...........me.


I'll share some of the special, magical things that accompany my bipolar. On the weekends when I don't have the kids, don't have to work, and don't have rocking plans, I'll sleep in, make coffee, enjoy my daily date with meds until their chemistry kicks in, and then walk Zing. When I get back, I'll lay on the couch. Might write, usually don't, but if I do open the story, it's more reading and editing than creating new writing. Then it'll be lunchtime, so I walk the dog again, set the kitchen timer so I can pretend I'm only taking a 20 minute power nap.  Two hours later, I wake up. Still tired. If I feel hungry, I'll drink a coke and maybe eat popcorn. At no time during this brief child-free span do I brush my teeth or take a shower. It's too exhausting to hold my arms up that long. I don't usually do much housework except for dishes. Never could understand why that chore is therapeutic, but it is. Late afternoon, another walk for His Highness, and skim over social media, but don't really engage or absorb. Believe it or not, reading is too exhausting sometimes, too.


Trust me, if I could snap out of it, I would. I feel the disconnect between me and loved ones. At times, I work diligently to maintain healthy relationships; at other times (and sadly, more lately than ever), I isolate myself because I feel like a phony. A poser. A fake. And guilty ones at that. And it's too freaking hard to talk about authentic things than superficial things and try to play it off as if everything's fine and nobody needs to worry.  


Here's something I saw on Pinterest.

"Saying someone can’t be sad because someone else may have it worse is just like saying someone can’t be happy because someone else might have it better." I've had several people tell me people me (in so many words) that my complaints are petty and sweating the small stuff. To someone like me, with brain chemistry issues, it makes me worse when I feel like I should be able to buck up, sissypants. Put on big girl undies. Pick my battles. Realize I'm not the only one with life problems.

All of that is reasonable advice. In a manic phase, it's easier to have that mindset. In the down phase, it ain't happening. It's too difficult to manage. The shifting back and forth is why people think mental illness is a lifestyle choice or a lack of inner strength.  "Well, you choose to be happy sometimes. Why not all the time?"

I know no one who would say to anyone, "Listen here, your eyes are blue. And it's because you're weak. If you really wanted to, you could make your eyes brown. If you were strong enough. So just get over it, concentrate, be mighty, and make your freaking eyes brown."

It's not an excuse or crutch to say that my willpower alone can't manufacture brain chemicals. Everybody tries as hard as they can to do it with willpower.

It's easier when you summon the courage to ask for help. Scary? Yes. Necessary anyway? Yes. Can you do it? YES.

#JustAsk #TalkAboutIt #Depression #Bipolar #BeKind #Understand #iWillWhatIWant


P.S. On a lighter note, I like today's date for a silly, random reason.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

#tiredworkinggirl

Felt like updating.  Job still going great, had two days this week where I made a couple of (fixable) mistakes. Today was much better.  I worked late last night and through lunch today to make up for the time I took off tonight to go to the Meet the Teacher event at the kids' school.  John Sam was nervous about meeting his teachers, but he talked with all of them except one--they moved her to a different room than she was supposed to be in and we couldn't find her. He got PE as his last class of the day, which is exactly what he wanted, and he's got classes with some of the same kids as last year. When Caroline met her teachers, most of them knew John Sam and asked him how his summer went. Then they asked her about her summer and how JS was as a big brother, and she said about halfway (or something to that effect).  Her world history teacher said the class puts on a Greek play, and she told him that was her specialty, because she's been reading a book series about gods and goddesses. She told the science teacher she didn't like raising her hand or speaking out in class, and he told her he could guarantee he'd call on her as much as everyone. She also got band, which she wanted, and the other elective was drama. She was mad she didn't get creative writing. I've always thought she be good at drama (*ahem*), but she's never expressed any interest in it. She'll be learning about it this year, though ;-)

Academically it's going to be a tough year for both of them.  We've got our "homework plan" in place so we can focus on learning, and when that is done, we can relax and unwind. Some relax by playing video games, some relax by reading books, some relax by writing.

It's been been tough to adjust to the time management issues I'm encountering. I've had to let some things go and that buggggs me.  Once the routine of school starts, I'm going to be better able to manage the smaller amount time that I have to do everything I want and need.  Staying up too late when you get into writing is very bad when you need to get up earlier in the morning than you have in about a year.  HA!  I've heard you can't really catch up on your lost sleep, but I'm gonna give it the old college try.

Cruising up to the 28th floor...

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Day 2, Best Job Ever

I am happy to have completed two days of online training at the office. Tomorrow I start doing "real" work. I took some of my personal stuff in and put it on my desk.  I love having my own space, and I swear if I actually get two computer screens, I'm going to be very hard to live with for the next couple of days.  :)

Clearwater Vacay Pix

So much vacation, so little time.  How did three days go by so quickly?  I'm already saving my money for next year's trip!

Ocean in the background

View from our balcony. Hard to see it,
but "One Tree Island" is in the pic.


One of the few times I was busted taking
pictures without permission. JS said, "The
only reason we went on vaction is for
her to take pictures of us." 

What happened when I told JS
we went on vactations for other
reasons, too

First view of the ocean
(no filter on this shot) 

 Flip flops have to come off first

Step two: toes in the sand


Modeling on the beach 

Shell hunting

Also looking for shells...

Sunset - Tuesday 7/29/2014

 CGB on the shoreline

Seagulls, sunset, sand castle

Trying a Pinterest idea. The first one
(where they are farther from the camera)
looks better than the other version.

Nighttime swimming. They swam til
the hotel shut off the pool waterfalls
and underwater lights.

On the sand dunes near the
restaurant, Palm Pavillion. Hard
to believe how soft the sand was!

Sunset over sand dunes

Me on Day 1

Catching some light 

 This Pinterest idea didn't turn out too badly.

I hate toe pictures, but I'm okay
with this one b/c they're mine,
and because they look normal
with the water and foam  on them.

Ocean, morning of last day.
Much clearer than the day
before--so much seawood one
day and barely any the next.

Building and digging

CGB original atwork - skyscraper

Thursday Morning Sunrise



Little kids - big ocean - bigger world